Parenting is incredibly rewarding but also challenging. When combined with managing mental health, it can feel overwhelming. However, with the right strategies and support, it is possible to thrive as a parent while taking care of your mental well-being.
Most parents have heard the phrase “Cherish every moment” when referring to their children. Although well-intentioned, let’s be honest—some days, cherishing is the last thing on your mind. When your newborn is cluster feeding and crying all day and night, or your teenager is barely speaking to you, just walking around the house grunting, it can take a lot of energy to focus on the positives and practice gratitude. So, take a breath, be kind to yourself, and remember that this is just a bad day, and tomorrow is a new one.
Parenting is inherently stressful: sleepless nights, new routines, work, and relationship changes can all impact our mental health and amplify everyday challenges. Conditions like anxiety and depression can make simple tasks feel daunting, so celebrate the small victories.
Did you manage to drink a cup of tea before it got cold?
Take a shower?
Get out of bed?
If yes, congratulations!
Due to societal stigma around mental health, some parents fear their parenting abilities being judged, which can deter them from seeking help. However, seeking support is a strength, not a weakness.
Strategies for Managing Mental Health as a Parent
Self-Care is Essential: Prioritise your mental health by incorporating self-care routines into your daily life. This could be mindfulness, meditation, or yoga, but it could also be any activity that brings you pleasure, like taking a daytime nap or watching your favourite box set. It doesn’t have to fit the popular culture definition of self-care.
Seek Professional Help: Don’t hesitate to reach out to mental health professionals. Counselling and therapy are options, but also consider support from health visitors, midwives, doctors, teachers, or pastoral staff at school.
Build a Support Network: Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, or support groups. Being sociable can take a lot of energy, so take small steps if needed. For example, set a time boundary for interactions, like an hour to grab a coffee at a place you feel comfortable. Avoid large groups or long days out, if you feel it would be too overwhelming.
Establish Routines: Consistent routines can provide stability for both you and your children and help you build in some of that important adult time with friends, family members, or partners.
Communicate Openly: Age-appropriate conversations with your children about mental health can foster understanding and empathy, while giving the next generation the tools and vocabulary to verbalise their own emotions and experiences as they grow up.
There are also many online communities and local support groups that can provide a sense of belonging and practical advice. However, be conscious of unmoderated platforms that fuel unrealistic expectations and create a judgmental and competitive environment.
Conclusion
Balancing parenting and mental health is undoubtedly challenging, but with the right strategies and support, it is entirely possible. Prioritise self-care, seek professional help, and build a supportive network. Remember, you are not alone. By sharing experiences and being open and honest with each other when facing challenges, as well as celebrating the highs, we can make it better for every new generation of parents.
If you need further support, feel free to ask!
Lisa Holben, BACP Registered Counsellor and Psychotherapist
Email: innerminds@btinternet.comWebsite: innermindscounselling.com
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